Painting 4

Happy Birthday Dad!

This painting showcases my worst technique ever.

But it seems to work.

It feels right that it looks like it's painted by a kid.

This is probably my last painting before leaving home

so I added childhood memories into it.

Can you spot them?

Hint: The Little Prince, IHTFP-esque, Mobius, Totoro, Instruments, Flags

Angwy Birds!!

That's how you make my day.

Happyness

(photo credit to Annie Hu)

I CAN BREATHE.

(In case you haven't gotten to in a long, long time...

IT FEELS FANTASTIC.)

But... this is just a part of the Beginning:

Today, you shall remember to

Hold Fast To Your Dreams.

Go, Live!

100% God

Facebook Status: Humbled.

Most people would interpret that as, "Oh, well I guess she didn't get in."

But hopefully some will see that as, "She knows it's not by her, but by God that anything is possible."

Hopefully......

MIT Class of 2015

Childhood

What were the cartoons you watched when you were a kid?

Or cartoon characters you had to buy the plush version of for you bed?

Pokemon?

Power Rangers?

Doraemon?

Just kidding, I kid... uh

101 Dalmations?

Snow White?

Powerpuff Girls...

and the nemesis MoJo JoJo?

Studio Ghibli's Totoro?

Hello Kitty/Sanrio?

Oooh, even better:

Anyways, this childhood tangent comes from the fact

that for a limited time,

McDonald's Happy Meals are served with Sanrio watches

for the company's 50th anniversary!

Can't go wrong on time with Keroppi.

Back from School

My Fall Looks

(when I actually took the photos

despite my overbearing laziness)

backwards cardigan and flowing skirt

floral Doc Martens and nautical cardigan

vintage denim shorts and yarn necklace

Vitamins

I need a daily dose of realism.

Realism - to see things for what they truly are.
Truly - how things are without anyone touching it or thinking about it.

Realism: 1 day = 24 hours = 1440 minutes = 86400 seconds.
That's the amount of time I have in one day to do whatever I want.
I choose to identify responsibilities and tasks and allot my time for that.
I choose to accept my humanness and allot 6-7 hours to (refer to conversion) to sleep.
I choose to pretend that I am busy when really, I procrasinate and think activities like going online or reading or watching episodes on Hulu or walking or running or staring into space and pondering isn't going to take another 6 hours.

Truly: Time is a free and mandatory resource, a dimension, a measurement.

Realism: Time can be a friend. or an enemy. Right now, it's a frenemy. It's ok, but our relationship is sehr tiring. So much drama on my part. Time is really impartial to it all, which frustrates me. Why can't it slow down and wait for me? Why can't it catch up to my thoughts and ambitions? Why doesn't it care about me?

Realism: I am talking to myself. Time is far, far away, where everyone else can feel it.

Big Change or None At All

College admissions.

[WARNING: Reading this might make you feel bad or worse or better... risk's yours to take.]

What is this horrible feeling that is coming over me? Stress, then anxiety, then shortness of breath followed by instinctive forcing of long heaps of inhales and exhales, then frustration, then backtrack in memory to what could've gone better throughout my application process, then the background congratulations to everyone else who's been accepted to their respective schools, then the visualization that I won't get into mine, then the room spinning, then the self-comforting that I'll end up somewhere where I will be happy in the end, then the selfish counter that I really want to get in, then tiredness of the whole business and emersion into deep denial of the whole situation actually happening.

"WHEN are you going to find out?"
"Oh my gosh, you applied early too? I heard like 11 applied there."
"If you don't get in, it just wasn't the right place for you."
"You'll be okay." "Wow, that's incredibly hard to get into."
"Good luck! Tell me when you find out." "Ooh, 4 more days..."
"I can’t tell you not to worry, to relax, because whether you’re on the 'excited' side of things, or the 'freaking out' end - that's just unrealistic. " "Colleges shouldn't have the power to break hearts...:/
Good news or bad news, it doesn't change the fact that to me, you'll all always be amazing. ♥" "Hey, just think, in a couple weeks, it'll all be over..."

Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.

But then at the end of this cyclical madness of the mind, I reach my 10-second epiphany where I realize that whatever happens, it's been decided already. Time is a dimension, but somewhere, it's already been done. Somewhere, I know if I got in or didn't get in. And hopefully, if I get in, it doesn't change too much. Hopefully, I won't get narcissistic or incredibly self-commending or ignorant of other people and unfaithful.
But hopefully, if I don't get in, I shouldn't get really upset as if I expected a different outcome, or incredibly self-deprecating or greenly-envious of other people and unfaithful.
Please, whatever happens, the decision someone else makes should not affect the peace of mind I have. Peace is independent of outside forces.

Peace is faith in God.

That felt good. Deep breath, deep breath, slowly return to normal.

If Summer Was 1 Day. Nay, 2 hours.

only 1.

as the days start to shorten and the nights start to swallow up our energy.

One of my friends was talking about a short story we read in 6th grade and it made my day that she had brought it up. I had forgotten all about it these years... why would they include that story in a 6th grade curriculum? It means so much more than we would consider it for when we were just 11.

The story: All Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury.

"I think the sun is a flower,

That blooms for just one hour."

"Margot stood alone. She was a very frail girl who looked as if she had been lost in the rain for years and the rain had washed out the blue from her eyes and the red from her mouth and the yellow from her hair. She was an old photograph dusted from an album, whitened away, and if she spoke at all her voice would be a ghost. Now she stood, separate, staring at the rain and the loud wet world beyond the huge glass."

And my favorite passage:

And then—

In the midst of their running one of the girls wailed.

Everyone stopped.

The girl, standing in the open, held out her hand.

"Oh, look, look," she said, trembling.

They came slowly to look at her opened palm.

In the center of it, cupped and huge, was a single raindrop.

She began to cry, looking at it.

They glanced quietly at the sky.

"Oh. Oh."

Oh.

sUMMer

View of the Charles from our room at 3 am

So this summer has been quite awesome so far with a summer program at MIT
that let me tinker with breadboards




and learn python




and apply matrices to real-life scenarios,



all of which I found tremendously useful in deciding what to focus on in the future.
Engineering, one of the teachers said, was basically made up of design and creation.
If that's the case, sign me up.

Apologize

Every time I wear a knock-off designer item, I am very apologetic to that designer because I'm, in the simplest means, disregarding that designer's hard work and innovative creation. But what can I do? It costs a fortune for a student to afford the Doc Martens they want and anything emanating Marc Jacobs's casual brilliance and the Alexander Wang comfortable, chic top and the millions of other things she's been eyeing on magazines and other people in the halls and cities she walks around. (no wait -) !

It weighs heavily on the conscience. Sigh.

Take a Bow

The Bow shall be this set's motif:

Ann Taylor pj top,

liberty tank,

Refuge animal print jeans ($3),

poser Dr. Martens boots ($12)

My mom complains that this trench is like a doctor's lab coat.

Something like it showed up in Urban Outfitter's catalogue this month.

Designs white trench ($8),

Tahari tank,

unnamed hobo-but-way-too-fancy shorts,

Predictions beige heels ($10)

Patriot

Though July is far away.

Gap striped henley ($3).

H&M button-up skirt

(always love wearing this),

unnamed slip-ons

Spring Transitions >>>

So finally got enough hands on time to take a moment to archive some of my favorite outfits:

Gloomy, warm, comfy.

and the vintage ankle boots are great.

Forever 21 headband,

Latina black 2-pocket shirt,

Gap tan knit scarf ($6),

The Limited cropped black pants

always wanted to use a scarf as a feminine bowtie

NYL navy striped cardigan,

scarf from Kmart ($1),

blouse from thrift shop,

Refuge animal print jeans ($3),

Rampage bow sandals ($8)

all grown up for spring

white jacket (hand-me-down),

Moda blouse (actually a maternity line),

6degrees skirt ($5)

Frohes Neues Jahr!

Germans are cheery people, right?
At least they seem that way in my textbook.
If we get a clean slate every year,
then mine would be scratched up from all the times I've tried to erase my mistakes.