Sunday, November 11, 2012


Though I'm not Catholic, I'm going to begin this post with a series of confessions.

Confession 1: I haven't been to church in months.
Confession 2: Today I went to church and fell asleep for most of the sermon and mouthed most of the lyrics because I didn't recognize the worship songs.
Confession 3: From what I picked up from the pieces of me waking up suddenly from the sermon, the passage was from Luke about Jesus sitting with the tax collectors. Which made me feel a bit uncomfortable because in my current spiritual state, I see myself as the tax collector.

Maybe this is because of the nature of all sermons,  but sermons have the tendency of being pretty applicable to everyone in the room in some way. When the pastor kept talking about how we need to transmit the Word of God to all the "tax collectors" in our lives (which I kind of brushed aside because of Confession #3), I did feel selfish about my introspective thoughts. There were other people who had it much worse than me and I shouldn't tuck myself into my private bubble of stress. It was super unhealthy of me. And I started thinking that it was time to change my priorities in life...

But what really got me during the service was the last prayer.
During the pastor's prayer, he prayed that we would all get rest. Rest. Not sleep (though I badly needed that too), but rest
Rest - security from God and the constant reminder that God is taking care of you and it will be okay. As long as we do our part (or even if we just dropped the ball epically), God is there and He is good. 

I can't do life alone. Sometimes I convince myself it's possible, but life is so much better with God by myself. He is my Rest.

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