A Wishlist Holiday Card

I made a wishlist holiday card for one of my friends. 

She's really into lace, the color pink, and owl jewelry.
I feel like a lot of the items are more appropriate for the fall season, but I wear fall items all year round :)

A Fashion Holiday Card. Featuring a Look Book.

One of my friends and I are collaborating on a fashion project this month so I thought I'd make a fashion-themed holiday card for her:

On the inside, I taped a look book I compiled from this past year's fashion. 

I used an ink pen and watercolor pencils.

Excuse my poorly executed (and halfhearted) limbs. 

I figured even empty space could be better than my really ugly drawings of hands.

A Breeze from the Past

I was looking through some high school files from my old laptop when I happened upon a language and composition assignment from my junior year. This was one of my favorite assignments ever, and my teacher, Mr. Trainer, had made it into a contest. The assignment was to write a fictional scene based on Pierre-Auguste Renior's 1881 painting, Luncheon of the Boating Party. I remember spending so much time (out of enjoyment) writing and editing my piece and being furious after handing it in when my teacher announced that he eliminated any piece that used the word "wifebeater" or "beater," claiming that it was inaccurate to use that term since they did not exist back in 1881.
I was so mad. I wanted him to at least recognize how well thought out my writing was and to receive some acknowledgment for my talent, or at least my hard work. It's funny but thinking about it gets me a bit tense even now, haha.

Anyways, here it is for your perusal! 

Rebecca Zhang

Mr. Trainer

Lang and Comp

3 December 2009

Pierre-Auguste Renior’s Luncheon of the Boating Party, 1881

Finally, she had some time to talk to him. Well, if only the man hovering over her would walk away and reunite with his admirer, the flushed-face girl who rested her lovely face and hands on her elbows by the railing. The young woman eyed the man above her kindly and politely, pulling the corners of her lips apart in a tense smile. She wore a cerulean afternoon dress, most appropriate for resembling the waves made by the boat she was on for the luncheon. The dress was decorated with a patterned, frilled lapel and she wore a soft, brimless, sailor-themed hat that limped on the top of her burnt-orange curls. Her scalp must be protected from the beating sun, as her mother had reminded her. Across the small table, her sister, only eleven of age, sat alone, still too shy and naïve to relinquish the staged infatuation over her puppy and introduce herself to the many eligible bachelors.

            The young woman could see from the periphery of her view her childhood companion whom she had not talked to in years. He seemed happy. Unlike her, he was content with just sitting next to her on the rocking ferry and staring out into the lake to rest his eyes on the rows of sailboats and trees floating there. She wanted to talk to him. He had taken off his catering uniform and was wearing a relaxed white wifebeater and a boater just like the rest of the workers. He was leaned back in his seat with his hands anchored on the antlers of the wooden chair to secure himself. He smiled just as he had when he was only a boy, with the ends of his lips slightly curled up as if he could see many happy events happening in the near future. She didn’t know why he hadn’t stopped smiling. His father had left his mother and his mother died soon after-from heartbreak they said. He has been earning his own livelihood since then. And he catered for all her dining needs this whole morning while she indulged herself with imported champagne and sweet fruits. What could she say to him- “I’m sorry?” For what? Maybe it was better to allow the other man to keep talking.

            The towering man wore an ivory knit sweater over his clothes and no boater, probably to stand out among his workers. One of his hands wrapped around the far side of her chair and the other gripped one side of the chair beside her. His hand was too close to hers. She wasn’t even listening to the smooth words scurrying out of his mouth. How could he be trying to impress her when he knew he was slowly breaking the heart of another girl?

            The scratchy white fabric of her dress was itching her skin- was it the heat? Her thin hat could slip off her head at any time. She wished the burly man would stop leaning over the railing. He could tip the boat over. There was too much chatter and … she needed a break.

Holiday Cards, Part 2

Here are some more of those Holiday Cards: 

I distinctively remember making these while watching YouTube clips of The Ellen Show (particularly an old interview of her with Michelle Obama). Did you know that Ellen and I share the same birthday? Fun fact.

This one is supposed to resemble a Christmas tree with lights around it.

For fun, I wrote "LOVEU NITYA!" on the back side of the Christmas lights. :)

Holiday Cards, Part 1

Here are some of the Holiday Cards I made for my friends this year:

These two were a lot of fun. I basically cut out smaller pieces of paper and made snowflakes out of them with scissors and strung them together with floss.

This one was also made by threading floss through pieces of paper. 

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I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and had an amazing start to the new year :)

Riversong

I love this song:

Riversong by A Fine Frenzy

I laid down by the river’s edge
I laid down wondering where it led
I laid down by the river’s edge
And I woke up in a river bed

There were flowers in my hair
River flowers floating everywhere
And all the fishes came and kissed my feet
Dear old fishes, they said to me

They said oh, we could love you
But we are not yet what you want
Because oh, anyone could love you
You’ve got to find where you belong

All my needles, they were gone so fast
Not a needle left on a branch
I grew weaker
And the river strong
I said, hey fishes
But the fish were gone

Now the boulders
I know they heard me cry
But they were stone-faced
And they stood aside
So I went on at the river’s pace
With my eyes closed, I thought I heard them say

They said oh, we could love you
But we are not yet what you want
Because oh, we would only crush you
You’ve got to find where you belong

How does it feel
To be so certain
Without question
Of your purpose
Your position
Of your place
Of your home?
Of your place
Of your home

You cannot catch the river though
It makes you think you can
It trickles through your fingers
While you hold it in your hands
Just like I am

...listen to it here

(An interview of her is here.)

große Elefant im Zimmer

I can't stand it any longer.

Some of my friends are going through rough times and I don't know what I can do to help.
Today I just talked to one of my friends who is going through the worst time ever.
It was her birthday today.
It was the worst birthday she ever had.
Her studies aren't going well. She was sick and felt like poop.
And all I could do was sit next to her and listen.
I honestly didn't know how to reach out to her.

What scares me the most is when I have the opportunity to make someone feel even just a little happier and I don't know where to start.

Sometimes I'm so mad at the fact that sometimes this place demotivates people. And confuses them and makes them forget why they wanted to come here. They forget about the dreams they had when they first heard about MIT. The ideas that flooded as they wrote their applications. The anxiousness of waiting to hear back. The thrill of getting in. These are moments we all went through and an accomplishment we all celebrated. They weren't just moments - they are life-changers. We experiencing a phase in our lives that we all dreamed about and wished so hard for...

And then it fucks* us up. It makes us do things that aren't like ourselves. It makes us say things we regret. It makes hate ourselves and think we're worthless and undeserving. We forget about our dreams.
*sorry. you get the idea.

I'm a firm believer in dreams. All my proudest moments could only have been possible because I dreamed some part of them. Sometimes my realities surpass my dreams. It's freakin' awesome.
The fact is that we're all awesome. Seriously.
I've felt like a piece of shit many a times at this place, but at the end of the day, I'm insane if I keep thinking that way. If I expect myself to be perfect, I'll fall short. But if I give myself room to grow to become someone better, stretch my comfort limits and keep trying new things, stumble inevitably but learn from my mistakes, jump higher and set new goals, I can get through this in one piece.

I want to get to commencement in one piece. Furthermore, I want my sanity with me. But better yet, I want to be the person I imagined I'd be at the end of college. I want to be proud of me and look back and think, "Fuck yeah, this place was hard, but man, I did some amazing things here. And I'm looking forward to the rest of my life, which will be epic, thanks to what this place has prepared me to do."

And most importantly, I want all my friends by my side so I can celebrate that beautiful day with them.